


Tired, but caring

by Flooftheriver



Series: Till my last breath, I will defend [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: "New years lying video", Acting like a mom, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Deceit, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Denial of Feelings, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Kindness, Late Nights, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Prinxiety - Freeform, Romance, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF), Sanders Sides - Freeform, Secrets, Swearing, THAT WINK THO, Virgil is worried, sleepy kiddos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-03-20 17:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13722897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flooftheriver/pseuds/Flooftheriver
Summary: {Requested by Acantha_Echo}Deceit’s mere presence scares Virgil. The others don’t notice, so he feels it’s up to him to keep everyone safe.Great. Just perfect.





	Tired, but caring

**Author's Note:**

> I WROTE MOST OF THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.  
> •••  
> SLEEP DEPRIVED FLOW WOULD BE SUPER HAPPY IF COMMENTS APPEARED WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP.

“You sicken me. You can’t always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems.” Virgil spoke loudly, trying to be heard over the music. 

“I disagree.” Roman smirked at him, holding his hands out in a way that Virgil read as, _‘I win. What are you gonna do about it?‘_

”So long, Anxiety.” Thomas gave him a farewell wave, and Virgil felt the insistent tug that would pull him back into Thomas’ mind. He wore a happy grin, as Virgil was sure the others did as well.

Instead of trying again, Virgil just accepted it, allowing himself to begin sinking down. He wore an annoyed expression on his face. “Ugh, it’s gonna be stuck in my head all day.”

Everything went black for a moment, Virgil getting that flash of unease that he always did when sinking out. Then colour burst through the blackness, sweeping it all away, and Virgil was standing in the communal area of Thomas’ mind. 

Despite the many seats, he remained standing by the wall.

Idiots. Stupid, _stupid_ idiots.

”Can’t they see?” Virgil muttered to himself, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s painstakingly obvious to me.” He sighed deeply, head leaning against the wall. 

“Deceit. It’s Deciet all over again.”

Virgil’s stomach was sinking, mind buzzing with thoughts. If none of the other sides even realised that Deciet had a part to play in Thomas’ actions today, then who knew what he would be able to do next time? What he would do to them?

Well he knew, of course. Virgil knew all too well.

•••

”We’ll both find out in time if they’re lies...”

Virgil cracked an eye open groggily. What time was it? He shuffled round with difficulty, his duvet cocooned around him.

_3:48 AM_

The hell? Who was still awake at this time? 

“They could be lies...”

There. That word- that one  _fucking_ word filled Virgil with dread that made him want to be sick. He gripped the duvet tighter, attempting to bring himself back to reality. It didn’t work. All he could see was the unnatural skin, the glowing yellow eye- who else would be singing that song this early in the morning? Nobody. Nobody but _him_.

“I won’t let them be lies...”

Before he realised what he was doing, Virgil was stumbling across his room, bursting out the door. He couldn’t listen anymore. He had to stop it. 

Thomas’ mind was dark, all the lights turned off while he was asleep, so Virgil relied on sound. He slowly walked to a door, at the opposite end of the hallway to his own room. He turned the doorhandle swiftly before he could change his mind- and burst into the room.

”Deceit-“

Virgil stopped. 

“...Roman?”

The prince was seated on a beanbag in the middle of the room, facing away from the door. The lights were off, meaning Virgil could only see a faint outline of the  side sat in front of him. He didn’t move at Virgil’s sudden entrance, though.

“I’m doing fine...”

The voice faded away, and Virgil stepped forwards, filled with unease. A sudden thought made him still when he reached Roman’s side. 

Was Roman... was he...

”See Anxiety? I told you...”

Virgil jumped back, only just managing to resist screaming in fear. Everything had been so silent, then-

“I was right...”

Huh?

Virgil looked for the lights this time, fumbling in the dark until he found them, flipping them on. Surely not...

The soft lights drove away the darkness filling the room moments prior, leaving Virgil with a clear view of the prince sat in front of him.

Roman was asleep. 

He couldn’t help it- he laughed slightly, the worry from before losing it’s edge a little. Virgil turned his head, looking around the room.

“Ah, there it is.” He walked over to a table on the far wall, pushing a button to turn off the music player. Of course Princey would have a copy of the song. 

Virgil went to go turn the lights off, pausing when he heard Roman’s voice again. “Catchy tunes solve lots... of problems...”

He shook his head, watching Roman to see if he said anything else. He shifted a little, discomfort on his face. 

The beanbag didn’t seem very comfortable to sleep in. Virgil hesitated, looking out the door once before sighing and heading back over to the creative persona. 

He grabbed Roman’s legs and back, hoisting him up into his arms. He couldn’t complain and say that he weighed too much- after all, they all weighed the same. He tried to be gentle, he didn’t want Roman to wake up and question him.

Roman’s head rested against his shoulder.

Virgil pretended not to notice, laying the prince down onto his bed. 

He pulled up the covers. He didn’t care, obviously. He just felt relieved that Roman was _Roman_ , the creative side who disliked Virgil with a passion, and not-

He stepped away, turning around and flipping off the lights. He closed the door quietly as he went, making his way through the dark and back to his own room. 

He didn’t sleep that night.

•••

Sleep hardly came to Virgil anymore.

He spent most of his nights patrolling Thomas’ mind, always on the lookout for any signs of Deceit’s influence. He would poke his head into the other’s rooms too, but only in the early hours of the morning. He didn’t want to risk even the slightest chance of catching Roman or Logan while they were awake, if only to avoid the questioning stares he was sure he’d receive the next day.

Virgil walked in the dark, no longer fumbling or holding the walls. That was the way he seemed to live. He would lose his uneasiness of one thing, like the dark, but gain the fear of another.

In this case, Deciet.

Actually, that wasn’t true. 

The feeling of unease he received when thinking of him never went away.

Virgil walked in the dark, looking in on Roman, then Patton, then-

He came to a halt when he suddenly wasn’t walking in the dark anymore.

Faint beams of light were seeping through the gaps in Logan’s door, making the entrance to his room seem like it was glowing. 

He was still awake? At this hour?

Virgil’s thoughts began to run wild. What if something had happened? What if something was wrong? What if it was-

Virgil couldn’t help it. Deceit. The dark side plagued his thoughts every waking hour, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He was panicking at almost _any_   _little thing_ out of place, always on edge because of him. It was all his _fucking_ fault. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when he was plunged into darkness. He swallowed, trying to calm down from the sudden shock. Logan must have gone to sleep. 

He waited a full hour before finally convincing himself that it was safe to go in. He opened the door hesitantly anyway, poking his head inside. 

Virgil could see Logan asleep on his bed, the rooms main light off. But a smaller, weaker light was switched on, shining from the logical persona’s desk. Virgil could see the dark bags under his eyes, and frowned. How many of these late nights had Logan been taking? How come he hadn’t noticed before? And the most important question- why? Why had he been staying up so late?

Virgil was curious- he crept into the room  as quietly as he could. Making his way over to the desk, he caught sight of a book lying open on the table. He picked it up and checked the cover.

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his misplaced worries. He was holding a book on astronomy.

Still smiling, he glanced over to the sleeping Logan. Virgil slipped the book back onto the table before sighing.

He pulled up the duvet over Logan’s body before leaving the room.

He didn’t care. He didn’t.

•••

“Hey, Patton. You doing ok?”

Virgil stopped as he was about to step through the door. He turned to see Roman standing with Patton in the kitchen, a worried expression on his face.

Patton?

The moral persona gave a smile, reaching up to clap him on the shoulder.

”Oh shucks Roman, thanks for asking! I’m still a little out of place from all this change, but I’m fine.”

”Alright then, just making sure.”

Roman headed off, Patton watching him go with a smile.

Virgil waited.

Silence fell, and so did a little bit of the smile. Patton walked over to the table in the far corner of the room, where a plate was waiting. He took the last cookie with a sigh, before fading out- most likely to go to bed.

Virgil should have pressed on, should have walked through the door, but he couldn’t get Patton’s face out of his mind. He had looked so- so _tired_ , that Virgil wanted to do something. Heck, he wanted to _help_.

So instead, he turned around with a groan and began to get out ingredients.

The next morning Virgil stumbled into the kitchen with a yawn- god, he was tired. He didn’t even notice the figure walking towards him until-

“Oh! Sorry, Anxiety. I didn’t see you there!”

Virgil blinked sleepily, eyes unfocused. He  rubbed his eyes, vision clearing to see Patton stood in front of him with a beaming smile on his face. To Virgil, his attitude seemed anything but forced. 

“G’morning Patton.”

If it was possible, Virgil thought Patton’s smile grew even more.

”Good morning! Look what I found when I walked in here just now-“

He shoved a plate of cookies into Virgil’s face, before bringing it back to pick one up. “I think Roman made them, he must have been worried about me yesterday...”

Patton offered the cookie to Virgil before heading past him, down the corridor. He chuckled to himself, pocketing the cookie for later. 

“I would eat it now, but I ate enough dough last night to last me a lifetime.”

•••

Time passed, and Virgil began to think of Deciet less and less. There came a day when Virgil lay down to sleep, and realised that he hadn’t even pondered about him that day, not even once.

But... he couldn’t bring himself to stop patrolling the mind each night. Looking in on the other’s lives had taught Virgil a lot.

Logan stayed up far too late, far too often. Virgil had found him passed out at his desk more times than he liked to count, and meals that Patton brought for him were often left untouched, forgotten.

He had taken to making food more often, and leaving it in places where Logan couldn’t miss it- like on top of whatever book he was currently reading. It seemed to work. There was still the issue of the lack of sleep, and he often wondered how he had missed Logan’s black eyes before all of this.

Patton felt a lot. Virgil knew that, but he had never stopped to think about the effect it would have on the guy. Every so often there would come a time when he always appeared exhausted when alone- or when Virgil was there without him knowing. He would spend nights watching the moral persona, just sitting alone in the kitchen with a plate of cookies.

During those times Virgil began to leave food for Patton too, because he never saw him eat anything else. He always left the food on the table where Patton kept his cookies, never failing to leave a note of encouragement, or even just some paper with a doodled smile.

And then there was Roman.

Now that he paid attention, Virgil realised he could hear noises coming from the prince’s room all through the night, normally even later than when Virgil had found him the first time.

He worked himself to the bone, always creating. Virgil had never realised- Roman had to create thoughts and ideas all throughout the day, but also dreams during the night. When did Princey sleep?

It appeared to Virgil that he didn’t.

The only thing he could think to do was talk to Patton, only mentioning that he had been woken one night by loud noises rather early in the morning- and that seemed to do the trick for a while. Patton would always talk to everyone, making sure they knew they knew the importance of getting some sleep. This seemed to help Logan too, and during those few days Virgil would see the black eyes less prominently.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t help but feel happy when he saw Logan’s plate cleared, or his note for Patton having a small thank you written underneath. He even felt happy just by walking past Roman’s room and hearing nothing but peaceful silence. Because somewhere along the line, he had begun to care for those idiots, and he couldn’t find it in himself to worry about what that meant. 

With Virgil doing all these things, everyone seemed alright.

He just had to keep doing them. 

••• 

Virgil groaned. He was walking down the hallway to the communal area, but he could barely keep his eyes open. 

“I’m not tired. I’m... I’m fine.”

The lightheaded feeling he had been having for a while said otherwise, but Virgil was choosing to ignore that. He just needed to get used to his late night schedule- the others needed him, even though they didn’t know it. 

They were all needed. They were all important. If even one of them went down, Thomas would change and that would be bad and-

Virgil stumbled into a door. He kept moving.

He walked into the communal section. The others were talking. They didn’t notice him.

”Cookie anyone?” Patton held out the plate, grinning when Roman took one. 

“Ah, thank you Patton. Truly, I don’t know how I’d go on without these.”

Virgil resisted the urge to smirk as he sat down. With Princey’s schedule, he didn’t know how he managed to go on, period.

”Oh, it’s the least I can do, Roman.” Patton set the plate down. “After all, you’re making me food all the time so I should repay the favour, right?”

Roman paused mid bite.

Virgil stiffened in his seat. _Shit_.

The prince laughed slightly, mumbling around the cookie. 

“Patton, I haven’t been leaving you food.”

 _Shitshitshit_ -

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, before turning to the side. “Logan?”

The logical side looked up from his book. 

“Don’t look at me. I’ve only been eating the food you bring me in the evenings. That was considerate of you, by the way. I always forget to eat the first meals you bring, as I’m so caught up in work.”

Virgil stood up hurriedly, ignoring Patton’s reply. His legs groaned in complaint, and the lightheaded feeling suddenly increased, making him feel like he was floating. Heh, was the floor always that close? 

Wait- no, it wasn’t- oh _fuck-_

He could hear shouts. He could feel someone holding up his head, and a pair of hands shaking his shoulders. But Virgil couldn’t open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. 

“Sorry, guys...” Was he speaking? He couldn’t tell if he was speaking or if this was all happening in his head. “I’m just so tired...”

The voices began to fade out, and Virgil slipped away into unconsciousness.

•••

He awoke in a room much brighter than his own.

”Has the sun always been that fucking bright?” He muttered under his breath, squinting his eyes so he could look around.

The entire room was filled with splashes of the colour red, wether it be the carpet, or the open curtains. Used pieces of paper lay scattered around the room with a large pile accumulating near one corner, surrounding an overflowing waste bin. One wall was covered with white shelves, which were stacked full with trophies and awards of all kinds. They glinted with the sunlight, making Virgil wince slightly, turning his gaze downwards.

He stilled when he recognised the familiar bed. So this was-

“It has actually. It’s most probable that you’re just allergic to the sun, being the emo nightmare that you are.”

Virgil spun to the side, wincing as his head throbbed from the action. 

Roman sat in a chair next to the bed, angled towards him. And he did not look happy.

Virgil sat up, leaning back into the crisp white pillows. “What happened, Princey?”

”What happened,” Roman started, voice thick with anger and something else Virgil couldn’t quite place, “was you, fainting in front of us yesterday.”

The memories came flooding back. “Ah.”

”You were just- _lying there_ , muttering under your breath about how sorry you were, and then you were _gone_ , Anxiety. Out cold.“ Roman’s voice had risen in pitch slightly.

Virgil suddenly found the corner of his sleeve very interesting- whose pyjamas were these? Very red.

”Patton was panicking, and Logan didn’t know what to do. I just picked you up and brought you here, Anxiety.” Roman gestured around the room. “You fucking scared us.”

Yeah, he was definitely mad.

”Sorry...”

”That’s not all. While you were out, we had a lot of time to talk.”

_Ah, fuck._

The prince must have seen his expression, because Virgil saw him nod out of the corner of his eye. He turned, now face to face with him.

”You’ve been making meals for us during the night, as well checking on all of us, haven’t you?”

He barely gave Virgil time to nod before continuing. “Did it never occur to you that you needed rest too? What are we supposed to do if you get sick-“

”It doesn’t matter.” Virgil shook his head. “I had to watch you all, I had to take care of you.”

Roman went to speak, but Virgil cut him off. “You can’t talk to me about missing out on sleep, Roman. You’re _exhausted_.” He was so pissed of. He had done all this for the others, and now that they knew, they couldn’t even give him one fucking thank you?

“You stay up practically all night, every night, so I will not sit here and take this hypocrisy from you.”

”Anxiety, that’s not what I meant-“

”I was so fucking _worried_ about you, Roman!” Virgil took a deep breath. “I had to listen outside your door _every singe night_ , knowing that there wasn’t anything I could do but tell Patton to ask everyone to sleep earlier. I wanted to _help you,_ because I _care,_ Roman _._

And then he was done.

They hated him, and he had just told them he cared.

The silence was deafening. Roman just sat there, his eyes wide. Virgil went to turn away-

“Anxiety.”

He paused, bringing his gaze back round to the prince. He really didn’t want to, but how worse could things honestly get?

”Thank you for looking after us.”

Ok. Not what he expected.

”Thank you.”

Roman offered him a smile, which Virgil returned, shocked. What was going on?

”But just because you were taking care of us doesn’t mean you could ignore taking care of yourself,” the prince continued, taking Virgil’s hand.

Was it weird that it felt... nice?

”You’re important, Anxiety. What would happen to Thomas if something happened to you?” 

“But you’re more important,” he blurted out, gripping Roman’s hand. “He needs you more.”

”You’re supposed to have a better grip of reality than me, Hot Topic, so why are you so dumb?” He was laughing, messy purple-brown hair falling slightly over his eyes. Wait, why was his hair all ruined?

”We are all needed, Anxiety. None of us work unless we have the others to balance us out. So, we all have to look after eachother. We’ll care for eachother this time.”

“Alright?”

Virgil swallowed. He wasn’t going to cry.

”Sure.”

Roman grinned, letting go of Virgil’s hand. He stood, making his way over to the door. 

“Excellent. Now, I’ve got a worried father that wants to see you, so-“

”Talking about caring, what happened to your hair, Princey?”

He laughed again, surprised. 

“That’s what happens when you’re sitting by someone’s bedside, waiting for them to wake up.”

And then he winked- he fucking _winked_ , before darting out the door.

The lightheaded feeling was back, though Virgil didn’t quite know why.

Patton came bursting in, Logan following behind.

_Oh well. I’ve got plenty of time to think about it later._

Virgil grinned at their relieved faces.

_All the time in the world._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has any requests for short oneshots, please leave them down here, along with your thoughts on this story if you have any!
> 
> P.s. there is a sequel to this, if anyone is interested!


End file.
